Ethan's Uncle B is coming to visit us tomorrow! Yay!

Strawberries and Creme Frappuccinos at 'bucks

starbucks� beverages

I had a craving for this lately - they were giving away little demitasse samples of this at Starbucks a while ago and it was really yummy. I was gonna order one today on my travels but after looking at the nutritional content I don't think I will! 600 calories?????

On a lighter note, they're makin' lighter, lower fat/calorie frap's now (worth it if you hold the whip) so I'll treat myself to one of those today I think. Yummy!

Truth & Beauty: A Friendship

Amazon.ca: Books: Truth & Beauty: A Friendship

I am reading this book right now - it written so decadently I don't want it to end.

ewie eye

My right eye is all red and bloodshot. I don't think its pinkeye, because its not itchy, watery, puffy, nor is there any discharge. Either way I look disgusting and of course I'm worried my little one will get it. Just what I need on top of this 24/7 circus that is teething.

For comfort, I've ordered a few new books and the Sekoya cd for myself. Never underestimate the power of retail therapy (or online shopping, that is).

I think I'll take my contacts out and put on my glasses for a day or two to see if that helps. If it doesnt clear up on its own in a couple of days, its off to the doctor for me. Horray.

Got a quick email from dad today - sounds like they're all keeping their spirits up despite the long grind offshore. Glad to hear from him! I've really missed being able to communicate with him every day.

sekoya

sekoya

This music is awesome! I must get my hands on it.....

if its not one thing....

Its a good thing my baby is so darn cute, and so smiley and huggy in the mornings. Its definitely a survival mechanism - like how an egg is egg-shaped so that it doesnt roll straight off a cliff if scooted from the nest. I'm so freaking exhausted.

Ethan's not to blame, of course. In fact he didn't wake up too many times last night. The problem is lately that he takes an hour to get back into deep enough sleep so I can go back to bed and stay there. This never used to be a problem. Last night he was in bed by 9:30 (after a few tries); up at 11:00 but he eventually got himself back to sleep; up at 12:30 to feed (that time I was up until 1:40 am getting him back to sleep); then 4:30 to feed (took him to bed with me; slept until 6:30 when he decided it was play time; finally went back to sleep). Just woke up now, as per usual at 8:00 am; up for the day.

I'm also feeling crummy as I've got a sore throat - I guess it was just a matter of time before I caught a bug when I'm feeling run down and sleep deprived. It used to be EASY to get him to bed and keep him there. *sigh*

I'd go back to bed (Troy's up now) but I gotta tidy the house, shower and dress before my inlaws come over for the afternoon. My car has a repairs appointment today - hopefully that won't max out the credit card.

Now. For some verrrrry strong coffee....

Its been a trying day. I don't think Ethan's feeling well (teething? Stuffed up sinuses? Who frickin' knows. It could be a combination of both) so his sleeps today were brief and fought every step of the way. His daddy is playing with him now while I have a very deserved glass of pinot gris (to nurse my headache) and try to kill the anxiety I'm feeling about getting our little prince to bed in a couple of hours - and hopefully keeping him there most of the night. I'm feeling a little emotionally thin due to exhaustion - but that's what being a mum is all about, I guess. I'm tired and frustrated, but more sorry my little guy is not feeling good. Poor little man.

way early

Well you win some, ya lose some. After a string of good sleeping nights, Ethan decided that enough was enough and that he'd sleep only in 2-3 hour increments, and that after 5:30 enough was enough!!! This is about 2 1/2 hours earlier than our usual wake up time. I've been trying for the last hour to get him to sleep by nursing, but he's not interested. Of course he'll crash in a couple of hours and I'll be wide awake from the coffee I've been inhaling to try to keep up. He's just all smiley and giggly this morning, and wants to play. I can't be mad at a face like that. But still. I love him just a little bit more when I'm well rested!

Please please please don't let this be one of those days. I'm so tired!!! No words can illustrate the daily exhaustion I feel - which just seems to accumulate throughout the week.

I guess I'll go make coffee. *sigh*

resemblance?

This is me as a baby, in 1969. I see resemblances in Ethan to me as a child, but when I look at this picture, I'm not sure. He was definitely a cuter newborn. Lips for sure. And we both were born with lots of hair; then lost it. He's losing his, but thankfully is still as cute as stink.

Anyway, the little one is squirming while his dad tries to settle him. I need to step up to bat to soothe the little guy and nurse him to sleep. Nothing to report today.

Now, to whip out the boob....

Vic Maui 2004

Vic Maui 2004

Seems like Kinetic is on their way to a great sail down to Maui! They're posting updates daily (or so) on the link above - and a picture of the crew is also on their page. Dad is the one on the right, first row. His close friend Werner is on the left of the same row. To be perfectly honest I'm not sure which one is David, the skipper. Of all the crew, Dad's the only one with Vic-Maui experience!

Go Speed Racer!

Good luck dad! Today is the start of the Vic/Maui sailboat race; dad is racing on a boat named Kinetic. Wishing you fast winds, calm seas, warm meals, and ice cold beer at the finish! Enjoy, and please stay safe!! We love you.

Baby milestones: Rolling over

Baby Connection -- Developmental milestones: Rolling over

Ethan rolled over for the first time this evening! However, he rolled back to front. Upon reading this article, I see I need to get E more daily tummy time because while he's able to lift his head and shoulders off the mat while on his tummy, he's not pushed his chest up with his arms/hands yet. This would be why he's not yet rolled front to back.

We'll get on this tomorrow! Can't have my kid falling behind!

Vroom!

A new favourite picture of my boys. I'm a lucky girl!

Growing like a weed.

Ethan had his 4 month Well Baby doctor's appointment today - including his second round of vaccinations. He did absolutely great! He took his shots like a man, and only cried a little bit. He's now weighing in at 19.5 lbs - off the charts! Just like his cuteness factor - to big to measure. Hee.

This picture is one of my favourites, but its a bit misleading using it in this post as its about 2 months old. I have to scan some more recent pictures. Which means remembering how to do it.

In other news, we're all surviving the heat wave that has hit Victoria. Troy even put an old (flowered - no less) sheet on the roof to cover one of our skylights so that the living room can stay a bit cooler. Did I mention we live in Langford? Its like he's trying to fit in with our neighbors or something. Luckily you can't see the sheet from our front yard.

Troy also took Ethan for his first "swim" in the little plastic baby pool we got. Ethan went in right to his neck, and floated around - really adorable. I took pictures and will post them when I get 'em developed. I hope becomes a little fish; loving the water. We'll start mom's and baby's swimming when he's 6 months old! Can't wait.

Today is the first day of summer. Yay!

Dads' Day

Tomorrow is Father's Day. Happy Fathers day to all the daddies out there! Especially to my husband - his first father's day, and especially to my dad - the best dad ever, and by default, Grandpa Extraordinaire. It is from these two gentlemen that I trust my own little guy will learn how to be the best man he can, and to prepare him to dote on his woman and kids like my men do.

Aren't I lucky? Yes, yes I am.

crazy days

I've been run off my feet lately - or at least if feels that way. I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE spending every moment with my little guy - there is nothing else in the world I'd rather be doing with my time and energy. But I've also never been so frustrated, exhausted (I think I've covered that), worried, determined, and clueless. He's more of a handful (putting it mildly) every week it seems - each week bringing new growth milestones and more challenges.

Teething. Outgrowing things to sit in while I try to shower, or even lie down for a minute (swing, bouncer, car seat). Not being able to sit on his own just yet, so that means more time in my arms. Hey I love a snuggle with the guy, but 24/7 is costing me a fortune in chiropractic bills. And he used to go to bed relatively easy, and sleep for predictable stretches in a night. Now, not so much. And I just LOVE spending the last 2 or 3 hours of my exhausting day trying to get him sleepy enough, asleep, and to STAY asleep.

Its hard. Worth it, but hard.

Sometimes I don't feel that my husband really knows how hard, or what we go through each day. Its a job like no other, but never ends. I never really have a break - even at bed time I can be awoken at any time and will be feeding and/or comforting the baby for sometimes hours at a stretch before I can go back to bed. We also have very different ideas about some parenting issues - such as discipline. He also thinks I should be using the Crying It Out method to get Ethan to sleep - I refuse. I read countless parenting books and magazines - he reads none. I research the internet - he doesnt give things a second thought. I feel no expertise, but I try to learn all I can to make my informed decisions on parenting things. He just reiterates what his mother suggests, or what he experienced as a kid. Neither of which I value much, if truth be told.

This entry wasn't meant to be a rant. I'm looking forward to our day today once Ethan wakes. We're going shopping and walking in the sunshine this afternoon, before a nap; then daddy will be home.

This is the life I always wanted. I just never realized that it would be so hard. But I guess anything worth having does not come easily, does it?

slow sundays

Its Sunday morning and E's in his bouncy chair; Troy's on the couch wiping sleep from his eyes after a late poker game with the boys, and I'm still in my pj's just about to have a shower. Its a day where the sun is trying to push the clouds away, and we're gonna go out and play!

Eventually. After coffee, a shower, vacuuming, loading the dishwasher, dressing and hair-do'ing, some lipgloss and refilling the diaperbag, a few diaper changes, a load of laundry, constant spit up-wiping, and Ethan's "lunch" then we should be out the door sometime around 3:00 pm.

A full day ahead indeed!

eat your veggies

Its a rainy afternoon, and the tyke is having a little sleep on the couch cushion. The nap could last a few minutes, or an hour; either way I thought I'd use this smidge of "me" time to post another picture. This was taken when Ethan was only 4 weeks old - seems so long ago!

We've just had a visit with grandma this morning and now I'm either going to join my little one in a little siesta, or read my book for a bit. I mean, that is what rainy days are for!

Ethan's apple cheeks beg to be bitten, but I have to show some restraint.

Sleep Solutions

I've just ordered this book because I'm getting a little tired of the lack of sleep, the apprehension of putting Ethan to bed (and keeping him there) and most of all, complaining about it. Now I just have to find the time to read it. I've heard good things about it so cross your fingers for me.

I wonder sometimes if Ethan is really ours - both Troy and I value sleep higher than pretty much everything on this earth!

This picture always cracks me up - Ethan's pout. Otherwise known as the "I don't wanna go to sleep" face. One day a little birdy is gonna perch on that lip!

Fog

I want sleep like an addict wants crack. I'd do anything for it - well, almost anything. I'm starting to remember those first few weeks of mothering a colicky newborn. It was a dark time - and despite having have read every book on babyhood cover to cover before birthing my little guy, I felt absolutely over my head in what I'm supposed to do. Looking back, I'm awfully thankful I didn't have any trouble nursing because I think that additional stress would have set me over the edge and Ethan would be living with a nice adoptive family right about now.

I love that little guy so much I can cry all day about it, but man I'm feeling fragile with each passing day as I don't get enough sleep. Maybe tonight he'll go back to his usual sleeping habits. I'm fine when he goes to sleep by 9:30 or even 10; and wakes up once or even twice to nurse. But lately its been much, much worse than that and each time I get up to nurse him its more often and it takes over an hour to get him back to sleep. Days are getting more challenging too as his fussiness due to teething is making him want to be held more, and my back is giving out.

Didn't I already complain about all this stuff yesterday? I think I did. I'll shut up now. Just needed to vent.

Troy and I have decided to invest in some professional photos of the 3 of us - I'm very excited.

I have a post to come about friends with children vs friends without - but that will have to wait until I have more time. My hair is still wet and I want to dry it while Ethan's somewhat calm on his playmat.

Smooch Worthy...

There's nothing as yummy as a sweet clean baby in his jammies after a bath!

*yawn*

My little guy is teething. No telltale signs in his gums just yet, but he's got red cheeks, bites on everything, is incredibly irritable etc etc. Lets just say I need more sleep. I was up every 2 hours last night, and he wouldn't go to bed until 11:00 last night. I made a huge pot of coffee this morning.

On top of all this, all of a sudden he wont take a bottle of expressed breastmilk. I went to get my hair done last night and Troy "babysat". Well my poor bubba wouldn't take his bottle and thus couldn't eat until I got home. This is going to pose a problem if I can't ever go out without him for more than 2 hours! Someone suggested using an eyedropper to feed him, or a sippy cup. I'm going to go shopping today and stock up on these to see if they'll work.

When I'm deliriously tired like this parenting isn't the funnest thing in the world, but luckily my insane love and devotion to Ethan never tapers away. I think its a survival thing. That and baby cuteness, or the way my son always smiles this big toothless gummy grin and giggles at me when he wakes me up at 7:00 am every morning when I just want to sleep another 6 hours. How can you not love that? I do. I do.

I think someone is trying to punish me on the sleep front. I had it good for several months. When I was pregnant, I had to spend most of my pregnancy on bedrest due to hypertension. That meant no work (with pay), and little activity. When given the chance, I am the most slothiness and lazy person you'll ever meet. My day would be get up when I naturally awoke (10 or 11 am); have a leisurely coffee and toast in front of the tv, have a nap, have lunch, read a while, have an afternoon nap, more tv, then my husband would come home and I'd get off the couch to make some dinner.

It was GREAT. I read so many books. Heaven.

Now time is not my own, sleep is caught in tiny snatches when I can. I think I've read 3 books in the last 4 months. Troy and I don't often get to eat a meal together now, nor watch a DVD through uninterrupted. I have to play music quietly in my car, and I rarely wear lipgloss now to keep it out of my baby's hair.

Life's different. But so full and future focused! All this living for another business is pretty exciting actually. You mums out there know what I'm talking about.

All this pre-coffee rambling. Off for now.

Notes on motherhood: take one

I have never been a vain person, nor one who was too meticulous about my appearance. Hey - I love a tube of sparkly pink lipgloss as much as the next girl, and I recognize Sephora as my savoir. I have my hair highlighted and cut pretty regularly, and I love a sale at GAP. I will be the first person to flaunt a new adorable handbag, boot or earring.

But now I'm the girl who lives in her sweats (I actually have a "sweats" warddrobe), only puts on concealer before her husband gets home in an effort to look somewhat perky and not miserably sleep deprived, will skip a shower in trade for an extra 30 minutes of sleep, and will wear clothes that my son has peed or puked on all day.

Its either true love or true insanity. This flower's not as fresh as a daisy these days, but my son is sure cute!

Well then.

I'm back, though I never left. I've been busy - his name is Ethan, and he's lovely. Teething, but I love him just the same - just like I loved him when his middle name was Colic. I can't help it, really.

My life a year ago - heck, six months ago - is barely recognizable to me now. It is true, having a baby changes everything. I'm not just a girl, I'm a wife and a MOM. I'm the arms that soothe (and the back that eternally aches). I'm the dairy buffet.

To truly live one's life for another is humbling yet exhillarating. Look I can't even spell anymore. I'm just thinking of my kid.

So - I have a blog now. Blogs have short little entries, which suit me better in my new life as Ethan's mum, because my free time is short and little. So when I have little thoughts to write in these little spaces, I'll stick Ethan in his swing, dope him up on Tylenol and get to my keyboard while I can.

On that note, he's waking up, banging on the door of the all you can eat. Must go. My goal today is to get out of my bathrobe before noon. So far, I'm not optimistic.